Time in possession: Something like 3 yearsDescription: White plastic wind-up clock with gold metal (not real gold) details. Has wind up alarm, which is decently noisy. Makes ticking noises.
Cost: Stolen from my mother, so free. I'll call it 15$.
Story: To understand this clock, I think you have understand a phenomenon that I experience called "Morning Me". Some time in high school a friend told me that for your first 15 minutes of being awake you are legally insane. I don't know if that's true or not, but it would certainly explain Morning Me. You see, Morning Me is a person who takes over my body every morning and does crazy, inexplicable and downright inconvenient things. He has conversations with people who wake him up, assuring them that he's getting up, giving them false answers to their various questions and promptly goes back to sleep. He turns off alarms and promptly goes back to sleep. He continues sleeping despite many well placed mental notes or otherwise excellent reasons to be awake and then, most devious of all, HE ERASES MY MEMORY of any of these events. I cannot even begin to describe the amount of messes I've had to clean up caused by this guy, but let me tell you, he's a grade A jerk.
Sadly however, there's not a lot I can do about him. I mean, we seem to inhabit the same body and any fitting punishment to him would carry over onto me after he's departed and frankly I can't think of anything that would be sufficient motivation to get him to obey my wishes. So, I have to trick him.
Yes, it's a messy business, but the only way I can ensure that Morning Me doesn't get his way is to come up with ways of rousing him from his slumber. The best way to do this is by setting multiple alarms and having them all go off staggered, so as to force him out of bed where he generally quickly leaves my body, leaving me back in full control and capable of making my morning appointments on time. This clock was stolen/borrowed from my mother (depending on who you ask- When she saw that I had taken a picture of it when she asked to look over the project she quickly claimed that it was her clock. I think if I've had it for that long however, it belongs to me!) for such a purpose.
Sadly, it didn't actually work- Morning Me quickly discovered that since the alarm was wind up, it was a small thing to simply lie in bed and wait it out. Worse still, the ticking noises it makes make it harder for me to get to sleep in the first place. Also, I don't think I have the tenacity for a wind up clock. I'm a lazy bastard, one of the few things that Morning Me and I share.
You win this round jerk-face, but I'll win the war!
3 comments:
Reminds me of the clocks my grandma used to have. She would give them to us and we would invariably pull out screwdrivers to dissasemble them. The cogs inside make the coolest tops ever. :D
Hahaha. I've got plugged in DS and DS Lite as alarms to the side of my bed, and a wind-up alarm clock. But it's easy to turn off the DSes (or turn down the volume), and now with enough practice I can pretty much reach and turn off the alarm with one quick spin and step. Curse you, Morning Josh!
You need one of these ;) http://www.gadgets.dk/product_info.php?products_id=871
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