Yeah, I Lied Again

Hey guys. Sadly, I've greatly overestimated my free time/creative output and as such I'm going to have to extend the little break here on the project indefinitely. Well, with any luck I'll be able to get this thing back on its feet in a couple of weeks when more of my writing chores on other projects is wrapped up but for the moment I'm going to have to concentrate elsewhere. I will promise however that I will be back and as soon as possible. In fact, I will keep this project alive until I've gone through 100 entries, at which point I'll assess if I'm done with it or not. Fair enough? Good, because you have no say either way.

In the meanwhile, you can feel free to read on my various exploits on my main blog which will still be updated from time to time, if only because when I fail to do so people complain. What a bunch of whiners!

Whoops, I Lied

It's Thursday and there has yet to be an update: The reason for this being that I'm INCREDIBLY BUSY with the various other projects on my plate. While I have a couple of posts good to go, I'm going to hold off until next week to start posting again so that I've got a shot at building up a buffer again. Sorry guys. This project doesn't really take that much time to deal with, but sadly I'm just swamped with auditions and the like all week. Hopefully things will look up in a bit. Later.

Adjusting Our Practices To Serve You Better

Well, we managed to burn through the backlog pretty nicely, taking us all the way up to 40 with few glitches. Sadly, I wasn't quite able to set up another backlog, which gives us this unfortunate gap. Hopefully I'll be able to shoot some more items soon and put them up, which will get everything rolling again.

In short- No entry for this Thursday or Friday, but everything should be moving along again come Monday. Fingers crossed.

Item Number 40: Glasses, Black

Time in possession: 2 years now maybe? I honestly couldn't say for sure without doing some serious Internet sleuthing.

Description: Black plastic glasses with white "marble" inside detailing. No idea what brand. Very strong prescription. Kind of beat up (left arm is pretty wobbly) but are the height of nerdy/artist fashion. Or so I'm trying to convince people.

Cost: With lenses, these babies set me back something in the ballpark of $260. They do have all sorts of fancy scratch resistant, glare resistant, x-ray vision enabling, etc. coatings on them though. ...I wish they really did give me x-ray vision. That would be awesome.

Story: One of the projects that inspired this one was a project where this guy sold everything he owned on eBay. I can't find the project with a quick Internet search sadly, but it was published as a book and was a fun read. Several of his items were bought by friends of his but never picked up, his glasses being one of them, presumably because his friend didn't want the project's creator to walk around blind. If I did the same thing, I don't know if I could have made that gamble. I'm not saying my friends are jerks (well, some of them are jerks) but without my glasses I am blind.

When I buy glasses I always do two things: I buy two pairs, because of my uncanny ability to lose things, and I buy pairs that look like they could take a bit of a beating. While this pair haven't seen the worst of my glasses transgressions (at the moment the best on was probably when I fell off a snow bank and didn't' find my glasses until 6 months later) but they have had more than enough abuse in the years they have resided on my face. They have been dropped, hit off of me, taken off too quickly for their own good and fallen into the garbage can by my bed on several occasions. Frankly, the fact that they still hold themselves on my head and do their job is a small miracle.

When I was originally told that I needed glasses, I was told that my vision would continue to deteriorate until I was 21. I'm 24 now and while on my last eye exam my prescription had changed slightly these glasses still work well enough and I'm happy for it. Replacing your glasses every year is a huge pain in the ass and even with vision coverage from my library job and from acting, it's pretty damn expensive too.

Item Number 39: Mini Filing Cabinet (and contents!)

Time in possession: 2 or 3 years

Description: Grey plastic "filing cabinet", designed to hold business cards. Top cabinet contains a small digital clock. Current contents are several dozen Nintendo Game Boy e-reader cards, several pieces of expired or seldom used ID, misc client cards, a padlock, some extra keys and other useful crap to have nearby and at hand.

Cost: The Cabinet itself reminds me of the kind of thing you'd buy for Regal for $7, so let's put it there. We'll also add in the e-reader cards (the complete set of all the NES classics plus a few extras from magazines and the like), $.99 a pop x13 sets (yay for failed media!) and the cost of the lock and other various crap that lives in there ($2.99! No real reason!) and we've got ourselves a grand total of $22.86

Story: This little guy sits on my actual filing cabinet (which doubles as an end-table) right beside the head of my bed and next to my ancient alarm clock (a future entry for later). Having a fake filing cabinet on top of a real one fulfills some sort of divine aesthetic in my mind. Yeah, I'm probably a little crazy.

I got this filing cabinet for Christmas one year, probably as a stocking stuffer the year I asked for a real filing cabinet and actually got it. My parents like playing jokes like that. In my extended family once you're 18 you join a pool and buy one gift for one family member. One year I asked my uncle for something off a list of games. When I opened his gift I found a ratty red sweater. After my folks got a good chuckle out of it, they revealed his actual gift. I guess my parents can be jerks some times.

There's something nice about having this cabinet. It holds all the cards that would otherwise get tossed into random drawers and mason jars and plastic tubs. It is the perfect balance of order along with the ability to just toss something in there and forget about it. You know, this post will one day be used to disassemble my fractured psyche and determine the exact point I went off the deep end. On that not, I think I'll leave you all. Have a good one.

Item Number 38: Portable Game System, Sega Game Gear (x3)

Time in possession: Between 6 and 4 years, depending on the individual unit.

Description: 3 Sega Game Gear systems, all suffering from various degrees of abandon. Only one of the systems actually works for any length of time, although I haven't checked in a while so that may no longer be true.

Cost: One of these systems belonged to an ex-girlfriend who was done with it, but I honestly can't remember where I came across another two. If I had to guess one of them would have been bought at a flea market (I'd often buy boxes filled with old video game stuff from people who weren't aware of what they were selling or just didn't care) and another off an eBay case lot. Really though, I couldn't tell you for sure. Lets just say $40 for the lot. That's actually pretty generous considering.

Story: I didn't know a lot about video games when I was a kid. I mean, I did read all the game magazines I could get my hands on and played as many as my parents would allow me, but in hindsight there wasn't a lot of thought going into my video game selections. The early games I nearly broke myself trying to beat on my NES? Mission Impossible, Werewolf, Iron Sword? They really, really sucked. If not for my childhood ignorance and stubborn drive I wouldn't have played any of those games for any length of time. I certainly wouldn't now. All that being said, I always, even back then, knew that the Game Gear was a shitty system.

The Sega Game Gear was Sega's answer to the Game Boy, a phenomenally more successful machine. (according to the ever reliable wikipedia the Game Boy sold 69 million units while the Game Gear only managed 8.9) Now before I go off sounding like a Nintendo fan boy (which, to be honest, I am) there were some nice features on the Game Gear: It had a colour screen which was back lit, a feature that would take Nintendo over a decade to implement in their own handhelds. It was easier for many people to hold, being wider. It eventually got a TV tuner, turning the system into a portable TV which was a pretty neat use of the technology. See, already I'm grasping at straws. The system's flaws more then make up the difference here: The colour screen was prone to becoming a blurred mess and worse than that was prone to burning out (the problem with two of my systems). The machine was a battery monster, chewing through 6AAs typically in 5 hours. Those batteries made the thing a heavy brick (just what you want in a portable electronic device!) and the worst sin of all: It didn't have any good games.

It is telling that when the original Game Boy was being given the intense shot in the arm that was Pokemon ('98) the Game Gear had already petered off into nothingness, dropped from support and forgotten. Owning one, I find myself seldom drawn to do anything with the system, although should a bugler ever break in I would not be opposed to hucking it at their head. These things have got to be good for something, right?

(Edit: Actually, they are good for something! They allowed this post to use both the "broken" and the "broken?" tags. Nobody cares except me...)

Item Number 37: Home Made Wine, Half-Box

Time in possession: About a year and a half.

Description: A box of home made wine, White Zinfandel to be exact. 9 bottles in the photo, and I'm pretty sure there are a couple in my fridge. Those are the remains of an original batch of about 26 bottles. Bottled with love. And thrift!

Cost: $100 for the wine and $10 for the bottles. That's one hundred and ten dollars of pure alcoholism! Ahoy!

Story: My friend Kevins mom runs a side business making and bottling wine. After a couple of years drinking alongside him and enjoying his wine, I finally decided to get myself a batch, a decision made all the easier by a student price of $100 for the batch. $4 for a bottle of delicious wine? A whole bunch of them so I'm not likely to run out any time soon? Knowing that nobody spit in your alcohol duing the bottling process? I'm in!

Together with Kevin and his mom we put this batch together and I'm proud to say that I can with no shame bring a bottle out to a fancy party (well, as fancy a party as I'm ever invited to), hand over as a gift to friends or pop open and drown my sorrows in a torrent of wine-y goodness.

Also, having a bunch of wine in your room? Classy.

Item Number 36: ComputerLand Duffel Bag

Time in possession: Roundabouts 16 years.

Description: Black duffel bag, featuring logos for the long-since defunct company ComputerLand. The zippers and detailing is done in the worst early 90s indigo imaginable, but make the bag pretty visible off of airport conveyor belts. At this point the bag is broken at several points- The main compartment in particular has a broken zipper and a Velcro latch that is hanging on by a thread. Well used, you know?

Cost: This was a freebie given to my dad when he worked there and then later appropriated by me, so let's call it a $1.99 Value Village special.

Story: Material possessions for many people are tangible signs of their progression, through adulthood, through the ranks of status, whatever. This bag, to me, was a sign of my growing older and a tangible sign of my own personal owning of property. When I went travelling (with my family most of the time- I was 8 when I first started using it!) this was my bag and in it went my things. I packed it, I kept track of what I had in it and carried it to and from the places I went. My bag, my belongings, my status symbol of maturity and responsibility.

Plus, having never played hockey, it was the closest thing that I've ever had to a hockey bag and I always thought that they were cool.

This bag has been all over with me. It's been all around North America, and to Scotland at least once. In addition to clothes it has held beer, video game systems, RPG crap, Halloween costume props and once, a puppy. At this point it is in dire need of replacement, but it works well enough for it's semi-retired duties, and really, there are so many memories with this bag it's hard to let go. I get the impression that it will probably fall apart at the seams before I decide to trash it, and if that's the case, then it will be with me a long while still.

Item Number 35: Game Controller, V3 FX Racing Wheel (PSX)

Time in possession: Around 4 years, but probably a few more.

Description: Black plastic steering wheel and pedals, for use with the Sony Playstation. Pretty damn near caked in dust. I mean, I'm looking at them on my bed in that picture and I feel like I need to sneeze. Gross.

Cost: While I want to say $10, my memory is pushing me towards $15, which is kind of shameful.

Story: This item was purchased during my initial foray into the local flea markets. Usually whenever I find a new source of cool crap (eBay, pawn shops, flea markets, trips to places where people don't like crap that I have become obsessed with) I very quickly both a)Lose Money and b)Accumulate said crap. Now this isn't usually an issue, except in my buying frenzy, I usually end up with one or two things like this. No, on paper there is nothing wrong with my owning a V3 FX Racing Wheel , but that paper is excluding the fact that a)I don't really like racing games, b)I own one racing game for my Playstation and c)I've played that game on my Playstation once, just to see if it worked.

It doesn't help that said game, Driver, starts with a stupidly difficult training level that requires you to successfully pull of a bunch of manoeuvres that you might never require in actual game play. Still, if you can't do them all (and I couldn't!) then you can't play the game. Frustration abounds. Now, I'm all for challenge in games and I do feel that content can be locked to give the player a sense of progress as they go through the game, but when the entire game is shut off to you until you jump through a bunch of arbitrary hoops... well, that's just dump.

Rant = off. Now you might have noticed the dust that adorns this controller, truly pointing it out as a abandoned peripheral. That's the other problem with the thing. I've got plenty of controllers that I never use (that kind of happens when you own well over 50 individual controllers for dozens of systems) but this one is so damn big that the only place I could find for it was on top of a bookshelf which is pretty high on my list of places where I never stumble across things. Also, the controller isn't even that good.

To give you an idea about this whole new-place-buy-fest phenomenon, about 2 or 3 months after buying this bad boy I came across a similar controller for the Nintendo 64. I came this close to getting it, despite the fact that a)I didn't own ANY racing games for the N64 and b)I hadn't touched this thing since making sure that it worked. I think this is proof that I am, indeed, a consumer whore.

And how!

Item Number 34: Graphic Novels, Bryan Lee O'Malley's Scott Pilgrim #1-3

Time in possession: Volume 3, about 6 months. Volume 1 and 2 less than 1.

Description: 3 digest-sized graphic novels in excellent condition. The art and size mimics the typical manga style, but the story and content is an awesome mix of Twenty-something angst, video game culture and Canadiana. It's like somebody made a comic based on a mad lib taken from random shit floating around my brain. Too awesome for words. (Except, obviously, the words I've already committed and will commit in the future to describing it. So, uh, I guess I didn't need to say that.)

Cost: The total set came to around $36. WORTH EVERY PENNY.

Story: Working at the library is good for several reasons, but one of the best ones is that I get exposed to all sorts of reading that I would otherwise pass by without notice. Now, granted, this has left me with a stack of books at all times that call out to be read that, in all honesty, I will probably never finish off, but that's really not the worst problem in the world.

Uh, but my point. Right.

Graphic Novels actually work out quite well for me at the library since they don't take nearly as long to read. As such, they make great break reading and are actually the perfect length for my bus trip home on evening shifts. Therefore, I read a whole lot of them- In fact, I have on several occasions read every available graphic novel from my library. Now I've been a little negligent for a few months are there a several that I'm not really interested in, so that had ended that streak. Still, for a while...

ANYWAY, Scott Pilgrim was a pleasant surprise. In fact, when I first picked it up I wasn't really interested at all in it, but I had decided to give it a try. Well, was I ever glad that I did. Oni Press has put out some great books in the past (Geisha, My Faith In Frankie) but Scott Pilgrim is, like, custom made to rock my face. After reading volume 2 I ordered volume 3 off of Amazon (a rare thing for me) and personally hunted down the library's only copy of volume 1. When I spotted Volume 1 and 2 in New York (along with O'Malley's Lost at Sea) I was suddenly 30$ poorer.

I really don't have too much more to say about the series except READ THE DAMN THINGS. I will lend them to you! The library has them! Volume 4 is coming out soon and I couldn't be more pumped! Exclamation!

(Endnotes: Blogger's spell check apparently does not recognize either Canadiana or manga as words. Americana though? Yeah. For shame blogger, for shame. Speaking of shame, this is late. Apologies. The worst part is that I had this post 3/4 finished for days now and I just didn't get around to finishing it off last night. Boo-urns on me.)

Item Number 33: "The Grudge 2" Baseball Cap

Time in possession: Around 5 months

Description: Black baseball cap with Velcro adjustable headband. Sports a the title of "The Grudge 2". Probably the lamest thing I've ever owned.

Cost: Free with the purchase of some issues of Knights of the Dinner table from Morgana Games. The only price I would have paid for such a thing.

Story: I have a problem that is not uncommon. I cannot say no to free stuff. The problem that arises is that it usually takes me years to finally rid myself of the various crap that I've accumulated with is more than enough time for embarassing situations to come forth. Now, granted, the situations arn't usually amazingly embarrasing (i.e. "No, I only have that dog on midget porn because it was free, uh I mean, not mine, I mean, I'm holding for a friend, I mean, enemy, I mean I stopped it from killing a baby. Yeah. That's the ticket.") but really nobody wants to have to take the time out of their life to explain why they have a "The Grudge 2" hat, even if the explanation is "it was free with some other stuff".

Now, to be fair to the poor hat, it's not completely devoid of any worth. It covers my head adequately and it's comfortable enough. I just don't really think I can condone pimping bad movies. I mean, it's not even a really bad movie, so if I was trying to wear it as an ironic statement, it would be so borderline that people wouldn't even know if you were serious or not. It would be like when somebody makes a cancer joke and then you're not sure if they have cancer or something and nobody really talks for a while and everybody just looks around and wonders how they can start a new conversation without looking like a total asshole. Yeah, that sucks.

So, this hat will probably stick around for a while, probably to be held on to until I give it away to someone whose sense of fashion or irony or thrift exceeds (or is drastically worse, your pick) my own. Until that day, it will remain amongst my other hats, waiting on that day, possibly picking off my other hardware until I have nothing else to wear but it, forcing me into many a social faux-pas. Damn you hat, your evil existence is the bane to my life!

This post really didn't have anything to do with anything. I think it gets a brand new label, "rants". Done and done.

Item Number 32

Time in possession: 3 or 4 years.

Description: According to Amazon.com "Brother PT-65 P-Touch Home and Hobby Labeler with LCD Screen", priced at about . My particular unit is a bit busted up- In particular the back plate is missing a few teeth that are normally used to hold the two ends together. Much like my piggy bank, it is held together with faith more than anything.

Cost: It was a Christmas gift, but the aforementioned Amazon.com page prices it at around 49.50. Works for me.

Story: Several years ago I decided to get my disorganized ass... organized. To that end, I asked for two rather unusual Christmas presents: A label maker and a filing cabinet. While many people laughed at the very notion, once they saw how useful both have since proved, more than a few of my friends have bought their own storage solutions and whatnot. Yeah, you'd think I got enough of this crap at the library, but apparently not.

Anyway, I ended up getting two label makers- Both my Grandma and Erica, my girlfriend at the time, decided to get me one and I found myself at a cross roads. In the end, I went with this model, the cheaper one, as I found it had really all the features I want in a label maker. After having experience using the other model at work, I'm glad with my choice: While the other model had a few more options, the quality of both of them was equal and frankly this guy is the perfect size for me. Big enough not to get lost but small enough to squeeze in to the gaps in my bookshelves or tech drawers, depending on my mood that day.

Nowadays you can find this baby pretty cheap, in clearance bins at your local Staples or what have you: Makes sense to me. These guys really make their money on the tape- That crap is ridiculously expensive and I've found myself buying it in bulk when I find a decently discounted price. You know, kind of like how your mom buys tuna. Anyone? Anyone? Just me, eh?

Item Number 31: The Office (UK), Series 1, 2 and Christmas Special

Time in possession: 2 years.

Description: 3 DVDs, encompassing the entirety of the British series "The Office". The entire collection has been watched and lent out several times but that has added and not taken away from it's supreme awesomeness.

Cost: $26 for the first season, another $26 for the second, and then $20 for the holiday special, for a grand total of $72. Crazy, really. Nowadays you can get the whole deal for around $35. Oh, capitalism.

Story: When I went to Scotland in 2004 I had the pleasure of flying with British Airways. Why was that a pleasure you ask? Well, for starters, it's an airline that still gives you shit. You got something to eat, free earphones and even a little overnight bag with the basic toiletries. Northwest steals the toiletries that you pack, just to illustrate the amazing chasm in terms of service here. Also, instead of having a shitty one-monitor-every-3 seats in-flight movie, every seat in the plane has its own monitor. Even better, they all have individual controls that allow you to switch between a wide selection of rotating "channels", providing more available entertainment then you have flight as well as allowing you to play a selection of emulated Game Boy Games. Which is kind of lame, really, since, you know, you're playing a Gameboy game in 2004, but the thought is still there.

Anyway, on said flight, I noticed that there was a listing for "The Office Christmas Special", the finale of the hit British show that I had been hearing about. I decided on a whim to check it out, see if I liked the style. After a few minutes of getting used to the faux-documentary style jumping in mid-episode, I was blown away. The Office, even without understanding half of the back story that went into the episode, is amazing. The dry British wit, the hilariously uncomfortable moments and the touching love story: All fantastically pulled off. I was hooked... and I had just watched the last episode!

When I returned home, I discovered that I had a bit more cash left over from the trip then I had been planning on. You know what that means... Spending spree! And the first thing I picked up was the recently released The Office DVD. I watched the whole first season (only six episodes! Tragedy!) in one go. At my next available opportunity, I got the second season. And then the Christmas special came out, which I got and re watched. I've forced so many of my friends to watch this show, it's kind of mental. But totally, totally, worth it.

I've been watching the U.S. version of The Office- It's actually quite good, and it's now a can't miss show for me. I've also heard that there is a French Canadian version called "Le Job", which I wouldn't mind checking out. But the original version is without a doubt in my mind the best start to finish series to ever grace TV. So good, so funny, and so rewarding in its finale that while you still wanted more time with all your TV land friends - Jim, Dawn, Keith, and even that smarmy David Brent- There was a satisfying ending that left you feeling like they would get along just fine.

Did I mention the whole set is dirt cheap now? Buy it already!

Item Number 30: Coleco Telstar

Time in possession: About 4 years

Description: White plastic Coleco Telstar dedicated game console. Features two knobs for game play as well as several switches for game variations and a reset button. Runs off of AC power or 6 D batteries. Face has several decals, one of which is a peeling faux-wood panel motif. Because when you think video games, you think WOOD.

Cost: $10 at the local flea market, the Mulvey Market.

Story: When I first began collecting video games, a friend of mine informed me that he had an original Pong TV game machine. I instantly wanted one. Well, I didn't really want it, but I felt like I should have one, that no video game collection could be complete without it. Little did I know at the time that there were actually many, many different pong clones out in the world. The Telstar was simply Coleco's attempt at it: One that would be re-iterated over and over until the market was glutted with game systems that played Pong and Pong variations. Still, at that time I thought the idea was quite novel and so I mentally reinforced my desire to own a machine.

When, years later, I came across one, I bought it almost on instinct. Plus, $10? I've spent more money on CANDY. Well, I can't actually back that up. Stupid stuff, though, I've definitely spent more than $10 on stupid stuff. That, this blog backs up pretty well, I think. The thing was, did I care? Umm... not so much. Once I got the system home, it took me weeks to attempt to hook it up, and, after one unsuccessful attempt, I gave up on it. So now it sits on my game systems shelf, gathering dust and wondering when I'll get around to tinkering with it again. Time is probably not coming any time soon. I mean, if I want to play a two player game, I've got tons that are better then a Pong machine, and if I really want to play Pong, I'll probably just play Air Hockey in Wii Play instead.

For now it remains a $10 conversation piece, and only really appreciated by nerds. Maybe I could turn it into a lunchbox or something....

Item Number 29: The Coconut Monkey

Time in possession: Since January 1994, which would make it (gulp!) over 13 years

Description: Cardboard cutout of the Coconut Monkey, taken from the January issue of PC Gamer. Slightly dented by otherwise in pretty good shape.

Cost: I've been randomly giving things that were free costs, but I think in this case it's pretty safe to call this one free. It was an insert in a magazine for god's sake! Plus, I'm lazy and don't feel like updating the total.

Story: Other than Nintendo Power and a brief stint with Disney Adventures I've never had a magazine subscription. Still, when I would embark on a trip, flying especially, I'm very prone to pick up a magazine. I don't know why exactly, but there's something comforting about reading something so disposable and designed to be "bite-sized" while in transit. No idea why this is, but that's just how it goes.

Anyway, in 1994 I picked up a copy of PC Gamer, a magazine that I've read maybe a dozen times in as many years. It's not that I don't like PC games, rather that I have never owned a computer that was up to spec for the current round of releases. Likewise, I was never really into buying new computer games, something that began with my childhood habit of disk sharing with my friends. And, of course, I've always been more a console guy. Really, I actually do get a kick out of reading PC Gamers and the like, but more when they are older. Maybe it's just the tech geek in me laughing at an article espousing the virtues of the new 486 processors of whatever, but I'm all over that stuff. So fun. Uh, anyway...

This particular PC Gamer was the first magazine I ever bought with a demo disk- It was actually a new idea at the time, shipping demo disks out with the magazines, letting the subscribers have a shot at the new games being previewed in each issue. Nowadays the Internet bypasses the need for a physical data disk, but the idea is still there and still has a great amount of appeal. Coconut Monkey was PC Gamer's demo-disk mascot. He would bound around, speaking in a pseudo-East Indian accent announcing what games where on the disk and talking about his own mythical game "Gravy Train" which never saw the light of day. Before I realized that it was a joke, I was genuinely interested in seeing that game. Oh, stupid Brent of the past.

So, along with the demo disk, this special issue of PC Gamer came along with a cardboard cutout of Coconut Monkey for PC Gamer readers to pop out, set up and adore. And well, that's what I did. At some point I decided that he should be my librarian and set him up on my bookshelf- That would have been at least 10 years ago. Strange that a stupid joke to myself should stick around so long, but at this point the little guy has grown on me. Live on Coconut Monkey! You're the man, cool guy!

Item Number 28: Nokia Cell Phone

Time in possession: Over two years (Since the start of Feb '05 to be excact- Thank you blog/google!)

Description: A Nokia 6100 cell phone (as far as the interweb can tell me) with a fair ammount of damage all around. It sports its third faceplate, which is actually missing the back-plate. No idea where it went. Also has an annoying number pad that is at this point totally worn away. Makes text messaging a bit of a chore.

Cost: $150 (So says my blog at least. Who am I to argue?) plus two additional face plates at $15 a pop, making the grand total $180. Unless I count my air time, which I'm not doing for fear of breaking down in tears.

Story: It took me years to get a cell phone. Yes, like many, I resisted the call of a freeway ride to brain cancer, valuing my privacy and not having to worry about my cell going off in movies and classes (both of which have since happened to more times than I would like to admit) and whatnot. But, eventually, I caved.

My dad was upgrading his cell phone, and so had an extra one just lying around. He suggested that I look into a pay-as-you-go plan, which I did, and finding the cost to be quite reasonable, I decided to give it a try. 15$ a month, and if it doesn't work out I can just drop it like that, right? Little did I know what I was getting myself into. Well, that's actually a lie. I'd seen what happened to people with cell phones for years. I guess I just thought that it would never happen to me.

Fast forward to the present, and I'm on my third phone: You can tell I haven't been upgrading because I'm all up ons on the phone technology: No, rather I had simply lost my first two. Thankfully this phone is doing a decent job of sticking around and it's such an outdated piece of crap that I can't imagine anyone else wanting it. Frankly, I couldn't really get around without my cell right now- It lets work get a hold of me to offer me shifts, whereas before I would usually miss the messages and therefore miss out on the chances to work. It also lets me take auditions as they are offered, something else that I would miss out on before. It also doesn't cost me that much- I'm up to a little under 30$ a month now, which is still comparable to what I'd be paying on a contract, which I'm not doing, which gives me the freedom to stop at any point. Woot.

Here's an aside that might make me look like a bad person: I've used my cell on more then one occasion to avoid uncomfortable situations. I don't want to talk to someone? Oh, I've got a call. I need to excuse myself. It's really quite pathetic sometimes, but there you go. Do other people do this? Or am I just a jerk?

So, in conclusion, my cell phone is crappy, but it works. So now I am one of those guys, who wanders around talking into his palm like an asshole. Oh well.

Item Number 27: Bomber Jacket, Leather

Time in possession: Since October '05, so about a year and a half.

Description: Worn black leather jacket, bomber style has red stripe with white border along the chest, back and arms. Inner lining is coming apart and there are several scratches all over it. Still, it keeps out the wind and is super ass comfortable. And it has a pocket just for my cell phone!

Cost: With tax, something in the neighborhood of $310. Decent chump of change.

Story: For years I wanted to own a leather jacket. Maybe it was because I loved my dads old jacket and was horrified when he threw it out. Maybe it was because I found them very comfortable (and still do!). Or maybe I just think they look cool. Whatever. It was on my list of "expensive things I want to buy".

Then, I got my first professional acting gig and it seemed like as good a time as any to finally get what I was looking for. At that point I had been checking out the few leather jacket stores in the city (Danier Leather and whatever the leather goods place in Portage Place is called) regularly, looking for a style that I liked. When I decided that I wanted some red in my jacket, almost instantly it became impossible to find. But now, after almost a year of searching, there was a style I liked and I was quick to snap it up before I lost my chance.

I love this jacket. It's been worn out a bit in the time that I've owned it, but it keeps out the wind and is just warm enough on its own for the fall, and more than warm enough with a fleece in the winter. Sadly, it's actually pretty popular and not that unique: I've seen at least a dozen people with the same jacket- Someone with one very similar actually came up to me and talked about it in New York- Apparently his was $70! But nonetheless, I like it and I'm pretty happy with my purchase. In the long run, I've spent more money on worse, so all is well.

At the moment, this poor sucker needs to get its inner lining fixed, something that will run close to the tune of $70. Sadly, I brought it in when the tearing started just outside of its warranty. It stinks, but I've grown attached to the coat, and even to it's now worn appearance. More authentically bad-ass, you know? I'm the only who has to know that its road rash scars are from wiping out on my bike, right?

Well, and now the rest of the Internet, but whatever.

Item Numer 26: T-Shirt (Black), Printed

Time in possession: 15 or 16 years.

Description: Black T-shit advertising "Man Man Discount Tire and Muffler Ltd." Light breathable fabric. Worn pretty much threadbare.

Cost: A gift, so free. You'd probably pay 2.99 at Value Village.

Story: When I was about 8 or 9, I was given this shirt (along with another one) by the father of a couple of children that my mother babysat at the time. It was large on me, but that was the style I liked to wear at the time and I wore it once or twice before putting it in my closet for storage. The man owned a business (my memory wants to say a car dealership, but that might be wrong) hence the shirt. In any case, he was giving me some free merch and I wasn't going to decline.

The shirt stayed with my family when we moved from Regina to Winnipeg, and was unpacked in my new closet, where it would long remain until one day (I was probably around 2o-21 at the time) I found it and tried it on. While I didn't care much for pimping tires, this shirt was comfortable. I was sad that I couldn't find the other shirt I had received with it- My memory had it with a cobra on the front, something that had far more ironic potential - but I was happy to have this shirt now, great for work-outs and hot days.

When I took this picture, I noticed that underneath the printing at the bottom of the logo a hole and formed, and I knew its days were numbered. Well, since then it has been tossed into the rag drawer during a purge through my wardrobe. That makes it the first item in this project that I really don't own any longer. I wish I still had it: Shirts that comfortable sadly don't last long, but I supposed I've gotten several years out of it which is more then reasonable.

Now if only I can find that Cobra...

Item Number 25: Books, The Essential Wolverine Vol 1-3

Time in possession: Less then a month

Description: 3 softcover collections of the comic book Wolverine, issues #1-69. In the neighborhood of 1500 pages. Some minor tearing on all volumes, and sticky remnants of price tags. Eh, they were cheap

Cost: All three volumes came to 12$ American (Woot!) which works out in the current exchange as $13.90 Canadian. Still a steal!

Story: Wolverine is pretty much every Canadians favorite comic character at one point or another. I mean, tons of Americans love him: He's a great anti-hero with a (formerly) mysterious past and a bas-ass take no prisoners attitude. He's the little guy with a lot of fight that most people want to be. Cool customer when need be, and other times raging animal that can't be defeated. Plus, he fought Cyclops. And nobody likes Cyclops.

The problem with Wolverine these days is that he's a little too popular: He's a member of the X-Men, the New Avengers, and 2 of his own comics. He's over-exposed and, some feel, more then a little played out. Sure, still a cool character, but it's time to let other people take some spotlight, right?

Personally, I always liked Wolverine. He's a Canadian super hero and far and away the best of all those available. Plus he was always tons of fun to draw with his neat costume and ever present claws. While I never had a lot of comics as a kid, some of my favorite ones were those featuring the hairy, short little Canuck, and whenever I would got to a bookstore I would find the time to thumb through his latest adventures.

So, when I stumble across the first three volumes of his solo book for such a low price on my trip to New York last month, how am I to say no? Well... I almost did. Sure, a bunch of cheap comics, great! But old comics, from the start of what many people now call the "Dark Ages", where Anti-Heroes, splattering blood, huge splash pages and weak storylines are the order of the day. The comics I read now are intellectual, clever and complex. Could I bring myself to read these old comics?

Well, it turns out that I could. After thinking it over some more I decided that I might as well give them a try: Worst comes to wost I'm only out $14 which is nothing for three trade paperbacks. So I buy them all and begin reading them on the subway to pass the time. And while at first the going is a little rough, soon I'm surprised by the quality of many of the stories I'm reading. Maybe Wolverine's book isn't so bad at all!

This isn't to say that the books on the whole don't come across as dated: They do, and many of the conventions they employ that have now fallen by the wayside - thought bubbles, incredibly exposition filled dialog, etc. - are certainly not missed, but there is certainly plenty of fun to be had reading them. In particular, a run on the book by current X-Factor scribe Peter David is well worth reading, and my favorite non-David written story (which I actually owned in it's original 24 page comic form!) was from one of his concepts. Go figure. While it does get a little tiring, having Wolverine remind himself and the readers again that "I've got a skeleton laced with Ademantium, which means a tap from me should send this guy flying!" and the like, over all the whole set is worth a check out.

Also, during my trip to New York, Volume 2 was used as a weapon onstage in the hilarious show "G-Men Defectives". Matt Domville attacked his opponent with it by reading it aloud. It was awesome. "Snikt!" indeed!

Ahh, the Wonders of a Backlog

Hey there folks. Hope you're enjoying the new entries. Just wanted to let you know that there is now a backlog of entries that stretch all the way to number 40, way at the end of the month. I'm about three ahead right now and should be able to keep up a decent buffer if I keep my time well managed. If not, I promise that at the very least each and every single one of the currently on-deck entries will be filled out. That is my promise to you dear reader.

Hope all is well!

Item Number 24: Metal Piggy-Bank

Time in possession: In excess of 20 years

Description: Bronze metal piggy bank, comes apart into two pieces, formerly held together by a notch and a hole with a small screw (screw now missing). Now held together with physics and faith. Current contents a undetermined amount of American change.

Cost: Another gift. I honestly couldn't tell you how much this bank was worth, as I'm pretty sure it was a baby gift. I'm gonna say 15 bucks because it's a pretty solid bank that has served me well. Plus it's a cute little pig.

Story: A little bit about how I currently do entries for the site: First of all I take a bunch of pictures on a digital camera, after which I import them to my computer and crop/resize them. Finally I upload each of the pictures into a separate draft on blogger. Doing all this takes a couple of hours, but allows me to get a decent amount of entries set up for the next step, being the part when, when I find myself with the time, I can log onto blogger and begin writing about whatever item is next in the cue. This is actually pretty fun because I'm often surprised by the items that pop up and at the very least I'm never sure as to what I'm going to be writing about when I open one of my un-named drafts. It's a good writing exercise and to me at least keeps the project a little bit more exciting then it would be otherwise.

So, when this little guy came up, I was shocked to realize that while he's been in my life a good long while, I really have no stories about him except to say that as a childhood item I would never think of getting rid of him. I actually have a collection of banks (4 banks, which used to be 5 until I gave my ceramic Elephant bank away to a girlfriend) all of which have been in my possession as long as I can remember. The nice thing about this guy is that since he's pretty tough, when I was younger he could often be used when playing with my action figures. I believe his most frequent use was as a prison (Try to escape from this one, GI Joe!) but occasionally he would be split in two and used as two boats. What can I say, I never had an appropriate boat accessory.

The funniest thing about an item like this is that even looking at the picture is intensely comforting. Seeing it reminds me of home, and my room, and comfort. It's a little detail, something of scant significance, but it's longevity in my life has given it new worth in my eyes. I would never call it a prized possession and for that matter I might not notice for a long time if it should disappear, but I couldn't bear the thought of deliberately parting with it. I guess I'm just a really materialistic guy.

Item Number 23: Belt Watch

Time in possession: About a year

Description: A battery powered classic-style pocket watch with a chain attached to a leather carrying case. The case has a loop which can be used to attach it to a belt.

Cost: A present from my folks, so free, but I can't imagine that it was more than $10. In fact, I would bet money that it was one of those $10 watches from a mall kiosk. $10 even. Okay, I've now officially used "$10" too much.

Story: I suck at owning watches. Actually, I suck at owning many things: Perhaps that is part of the reason the idea for this project appealed to me: I lose things so easily, so at least this way I can have a record of them, before they slip away into the ether.

But watches: I am particularly bad at holding onto watches. Ever since I bought my first watch when I was 12, I've been unable to hold on to one for more then a year. Well, that's not exactly true: I do still have some of my older watches, but only because they broke early on and have since been thrown into tupperware containers of broken things, each of them tossed in with the faint hope of one day repairing them, that hope becoming more and more ridiculous as additional broken items are added, until the box is essentially a garbage that has never been emptied.

Which is why this watch is kind of funny: I've had belt watches before, although usually the ones that clip into a belt loop. They tend to get smashed between my hip and a wall (sadly, I only have one occasion where I can blame this on being drunk, the rest simply my clumsiness) but got used frequently because of how easy it was to just clip them on my pants and go. This one, I never really used because it was a little more of a production to wear. Then, along comes my trip to Texas a couple of months ago: While I'm packing for the trip, I see my watch hanging next to my various wristbands, bracers and pendants. "Hey! I'll need a watch in Texas!" and so I toss it in my bag and think nothing more of it until we arrive and I'm changing.

The watch doesn't work.

I don't even know if it EVER worked (I assume it did, I probably checked it out when I got it although I have no memory confirming that) but it certainly doesn't work now.

So, off it goes, into my tupperware box, until the day that I (ha!) fix it, or decide that I don't need a tupperware box filled with broken shit.

Service Will Resume Shortly

Hey there people- Quick little update. Due to a huge amount of work that has piled up on me (namely writing 3 plays!) as well as limited access to a digital camera, I'm holding off adding any new entries until April 2nd, where, with any luck, I'll be able to update the site regularly, my hope being every weekday. Wish me luck.

Please Do Not Adjust Your Browsers

Hey there folks. I'm in New York right now, re-mounting my one man show. Prep for that and the event itself has pretty much stopped any work on this project dead. Have no fear- Things should resume as soon as I get back into town (on the 19th). Thanks for your patience, half-dozen people who read this blog!

Item Number 22: Game, Super Nova (SNES)

Time in possession: About 6 years

Description: Grey Super Nintendo cartidge, good condition.

Cost: Unsure, but I couldn't have paid more then 7$ for it. So, 7$ it is.

Description: You see, now here is an entry that points out some flaws in this whole project. Really, something as generic as generic comes: This game is a generic shooter that I bought simply because I was collecting SNES games and I enjoy shooters. There's nothing spectacular about it, no story, and no real personal connection to it whatsoever. In fact, it's one of those games that I might accidentally buy twice, not really remembering that I owned a copy in the first place.

What does that say about me? That I could own so many video games (and I do own hundreds of them, over 500 at last count, and climbing) that I can no longer appreciate them? When I was young and bought my first NES, the games I had for it were absolute crap: Mission Impossible, Werewolf, Wizards and Warriors 2 and, obviously, Super Mario/Duck Hunt. When the best game for your system is the one it came with, you've got something to think about. But you know what? I loved those games. I played them over and over, despite the fact that they sucked and that I sucked at them.

Now I've got hundreds of games that sit in shelves, having been played once, tested, and then put down, possibly forever. This is my childhood dream, come true. It's certainly not as cool as I hoped it would be.

What does that say about me?

Item Number 21: Clay Blob Sculpture, Handmade

Time in possession: In excess of 7 years. That's so very depressing.

Description: Handcrafted clay sculpture, glazed blue, yellow and green. He looks pretty shocked. Part of one the right eyebrow has broken off, sadly. Maybe that's why he's shocked, who knows.

Cost: Made in a grade 9 art class, so as free as free can be. That's right, I'm not even going to assign a random cost to it, such is it's material value. ... okay .05$

Story: In junior high I used to doodle all the time, and one of the most frequent characters adorning the margins of my notebooks would be the blobs: A bunch of squishy little characters who consisted of a couple of big bulbous eyes, accompanying eyebrows and a small squishy body which usually housed simply a moth, although occasionally arms and the like would poke out as needed. My buddies Jason and Joel and I eventually started making blob versions of all our classmates and soon they were pretty much everywhere. For a quick visual reference, I've doodled out a quick blo

There you go, a standard blog, startled by a spider (I don't know why, but blobs were frequently surrounded by spiders. Probably because they are very easy to draw).

So, when I had pottery in my first year of high school with Jason and Joel, what did I do but decide to immortalize our creation in clay. I did a pretty good job, considering, although you will notice that the colour scheme is a little funky. This is because I had no idea at the time that firing the glazes would change them from their initial colours. So, the body should be blue, eyes white and pupils and eyebrows black. Oh well.

I still draw blobs from time to time, as does Joel, although I'm not sure if Jason does, having lost contact with him after high school. Still, it's nice to have this little memento of those younger days, happily drawing with friends and just having fun.

Item Number 20: Bike Helmet, Black

Time in possession: Around 9 months

Description: Black Giro bike helmet, with visor. Minor wear and tear including some small scratches and a small dent.

Cost: Something around 45$, bought at Lifesport.

Story: Last summer I decided to start riding my bike around town, my car being long since passed away and the bus service being quite insufferable. My ex-girlfriend left me her old bike and I was able to find my old bike helmet, and soon I was riding around town in what my friend Kevin lovingly referred to as the "death-mobile". The bike was a rusty piece of crap and my helmet pretty dumb looking, but it was a cheap way to get around town and I was happy.

Eventually the death-mobile got stolen, and I was left at an impasse: What should I do now? I had a couple of crappy bikes lying around that made my old ride look awesome, but I wasn't ready to put myself through that kind of torture. Should I then maybe looking into just getting a Wal-Mart special? Finally, Kevin convinced me that the way to go would be to buy a really good bike. Sure, it would cost a lot, but the difference in the riding experience would be more then worth it. So, off I went to the local sports store and found a nice bike. Riding it around convinced me of its worth and soon I was lining up to get a 500$ bike, which became my grad gift, as opposed to the digital or video camera my parents and grandma were planning on getting me.

And so, with my shiny new bike, I decided to also spring for a better helmet, as my old number was lacking in many ways. The difference here was also amazing. Much more comfort and definitely better aesthetically. Now I was flying around the city in style, making great time and getting super fit.

And then my new bike got stolen.

The opening night of my one man show at the Fringe festival was a huge success: The crowds were good, my friends enjoyed it and I was on top of the world. After a trip to the beer tent, it was suggested we all head down to a friends house to continue the party. We did, and for about another hour I was feeling as great as I possibly could. Then one of the party goers entered the house asking me where I had put my bike. My bike had been next to theirs: But it was no longer. Shit shit shit.

I went outside and saw it for myself: Where my bike had formerly been is now nothing... except for my helmet, which had been left behind (Strangely enough, my lock had not also been left). And so, it remained the only part of my grad gift left. Fortunately, we were able to replace the bike as it had been insured, and so the Brent-Mobile Mk II lives... but that's a story for another day.

Item Number 19: Game, Rocket Knight Adventures (Genesis)

Time in possession: Roundabouts 5 years

Description: Black Sega Genesis video game cartridge, fair condition. Label has significant peeling and fading. Fortunately, the kick-ass game within remains functional.

Cost: 7$ from a local pawn shop.

Story: Every kid has a friend with cool toys. I don't think I ever was that kid (which might explain why I now own so many games) but I certainly had more then a few friends who were. One of those friends was Justin.

When I was younger, I had very few games, which was exactly the opposite of my friend Justin, who would have a new game every week, something that defied logic in my head. I was certainly jealous: He possesses in abundance what I could only dream about. But he was a generous friend, and so when I would visit I would be allowed to try out his games, if not quite to the level that I might wish were the case. Still, a play of a game at Justin's house was usually enough to whet my appetite for more, and those are the memories that flooded through my mind when I, years later, discovered this copy of Rocket Knight Adventures at a pawn shop or flea market.

It's a great game. A really fun game. Probably one of the best for Sega's Genesis system, one which a childhood loyalty to Nintendo had made me particularly slow to warm to. But you know what? I think I liked it better when I was playing it for brief moments at Justin's house. Owning the game, being able to play it whenever it fancies me... It's not quite the same. Funny, that.

Item Number 18: Game, Congo's Caper (SNES)

Time in possession: Probably about 3 years

Description: Grey Super Nintendo Cartridge. Good condition. Photographed really poorly. I mean, really, looking at is is giving me a headache. I'm so sorry.

Cost: I'm going to say something like 15$. It was bought in a wholesale lot off of eBay, so that's a decent roundabout price.

Story: Collecting Super Nintendo games was, for a good couple of years in my life, a bit of an obsession. It was one activity that managed to accomplish some of my favorite activities: Re-living the glory days of my youth, owning that which had previously been denied to me and adding to an impressive collection. In the end, it never really amounted to much, but the thrill of the chase, searching down an elusive game, that was definitely a different kind of high, something that made the occasionally frustrating and fruitless pursuit a little more enjoyable.

Congo's Caper here was one of the many games that I had read about in my childhood subscription to Nintendo Power, the pages of every issue quickly read and re-read dozens of times until they were reduced to mere tatters. As such, there was a romanticized idea of the game in my head with very little basis in reality, as sadly was not uncommon, as was evidenced with one of my previous entries, Robotrek. Perhaps it was because I was at least 20 when I got my hands on a copy, and when I was dying to play it at 12 my laundry list of video game ideals would have been quite a bit different.

Still, it's a handy game to have around, if only to toss at a little cousin or nephew when they grow tired of play Super Mario World.

Item Number 17: DVD Set, Firefly

Time in possession: Just under a year.

Description: 4 disk set featruing all 13 episodes of Joss Whedon's cruelly short lived TV series Firefly. If you look at it just right, you can see the aura of squandered potential. It hurts my brain.

Cost: A birthday gift from my sisters, so free, although Amazon.ca lists it as 55.98- I have a funny feeling that they paid less.

Story: Joss Whedon has a pretty intense following that is somewhat threatening to outsiders. For good reason: He created Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, two huge TV hits, along with writing a bunch of other hit projects, including Toy Story and the blockbuster comic Astonishing X-Men. Still, I spent a good deal of time on the outside of his unadulterated fan boys, looking in and wondering what the hell they were getting so hot and bothered about. I mean, I had watched and enjoyed the first 3 or so seasons of Buffy, and I thought Angel was cool enough, but I certainly wasn't falling over myself to see everything he made. This would all change.

First of all, around 2005 my buddy Cory started raving about Astonishing X-Men, which had just started to tear things up on the comics scene. Having good childhood memories about them and being in the midst of a renewed interest in comics, I decided to check it out and was really impressed. Whedon really captured some fun group dynamics and I was hooked. Then people started talking about this show Firefly, an unjustly cancelled masterpiece that had just come out on DVD. I still wasn't convinced, but after the 4th or 5th person told me how awesome the show was, I decided to ask for it for my birthday. My sisters were kind enough to concede to my request.

And so, shortly after getting the shiny new box-set, I popped in the first disk and before I knew it I had lost 4 hours and was itching to see the rest of it. In two days it was over and I was still hungry for more. So I watched all the episodes that have commentary. I watched them again with my little sister. And then again at my ridiculously late birthday party. I was hooked, but without any way to get a fix. Thankfully, Serenity, the movie based on the series came out on DVD and managed to give me some smidgen of closure, but Whedon had turned me into a believer. Now I was one of those crazy Whedon fans, and loving it.

I hate that Fox cancelled Firefly and Arrested Development, two of the best TV shows I've ever seen. But at least I can have them on DVD, ready to watch whenever the fancy hits me. I do wonder however what DVDs do to re-runs....