Item Number 33: "The Grudge 2" Baseball Cap

Time in possession: Around 5 months

Description: Black baseball cap with Velcro adjustable headband. Sports a the title of "The Grudge 2". Probably the lamest thing I've ever owned.

Cost: Free with the purchase of some issues of Knights of the Dinner table from Morgana Games. The only price I would have paid for such a thing.

Story: I have a problem that is not uncommon. I cannot say no to free stuff. The problem that arises is that it usually takes me years to finally rid myself of the various crap that I've accumulated with is more than enough time for embarassing situations to come forth. Now, granted, the situations arn't usually amazingly embarrasing (i.e. "No, I only have that dog on midget porn because it was free, uh I mean, not mine, I mean, I'm holding for a friend, I mean, enemy, I mean I stopped it from killing a baby. Yeah. That's the ticket.") but really nobody wants to have to take the time out of their life to explain why they have a "The Grudge 2" hat, even if the explanation is "it was free with some other stuff".

Now, to be fair to the poor hat, it's not completely devoid of any worth. It covers my head adequately and it's comfortable enough. I just don't really think I can condone pimping bad movies. I mean, it's not even a really bad movie, so if I was trying to wear it as an ironic statement, it would be so borderline that people wouldn't even know if you were serious or not. It would be like when somebody makes a cancer joke and then you're not sure if they have cancer or something and nobody really talks for a while and everybody just looks around and wonders how they can start a new conversation without looking like a total asshole. Yeah, that sucks.

So, this hat will probably stick around for a while, probably to be held on to until I give it away to someone whose sense of fashion or irony or thrift exceeds (or is drastically worse, your pick) my own. Until that day, it will remain amongst my other hats, waiting on that day, possibly picking off my other hardware until I have nothing else to wear but it, forcing me into many a social faux-pas. Damn you hat, your evil existence is the bane to my life!

This post really didn't have anything to do with anything. I think it gets a brand new label, "rants". Done and done.

Item Number 27: Bomber Jacket, Leather

Time in possession: Since October '05, so about a year and a half.

Description: Worn black leather jacket, bomber style has red stripe with white border along the chest, back and arms. Inner lining is coming apart and there are several scratches all over it. Still, it keeps out the wind and is super ass comfortable. And it has a pocket just for my cell phone!

Cost: With tax, something in the neighborhood of $310. Decent chump of change.

Story: For years I wanted to own a leather jacket. Maybe it was because I loved my dads old jacket and was horrified when he threw it out. Maybe it was because I found them very comfortable (and still do!). Or maybe I just think they look cool. Whatever. It was on my list of "expensive things I want to buy".

Then, I got my first professional acting gig and it seemed like as good a time as any to finally get what I was looking for. At that point I had been checking out the few leather jacket stores in the city (Danier Leather and whatever the leather goods place in Portage Place is called) regularly, looking for a style that I liked. When I decided that I wanted some red in my jacket, almost instantly it became impossible to find. But now, after almost a year of searching, there was a style I liked and I was quick to snap it up before I lost my chance.

I love this jacket. It's been worn out a bit in the time that I've owned it, but it keeps out the wind and is just warm enough on its own for the fall, and more than warm enough with a fleece in the winter. Sadly, it's actually pretty popular and not that unique: I've seen at least a dozen people with the same jacket- Someone with one very similar actually came up to me and talked about it in New York- Apparently his was $70! But nonetheless, I like it and I'm pretty happy with my purchase. In the long run, I've spent more money on worse, so all is well.

At the moment, this poor sucker needs to get its inner lining fixed, something that will run close to the tune of $70. Sadly, I brought it in when the tearing started just outside of its warranty. It stinks, but I've grown attached to the coat, and even to it's now worn appearance. More authentically bad-ass, you know? I'm the only who has to know that its road rash scars are from wiping out on my bike, right?

Well, and now the rest of the Internet, but whatever.

Item Numer 26: T-Shirt (Black), Printed

Time in possession: 15 or 16 years.

Description: Black T-shit advertising "Man Man Discount Tire and Muffler Ltd." Light breathable fabric. Worn pretty much threadbare.

Cost: A gift, so free. You'd probably pay 2.99 at Value Village.

Story: When I was about 8 or 9, I was given this shirt (along with another one) by the father of a couple of children that my mother babysat at the time. It was large on me, but that was the style I liked to wear at the time and I wore it once or twice before putting it in my closet for storage. The man owned a business (my memory wants to say a car dealership, but that might be wrong) hence the shirt. In any case, he was giving me some free merch and I wasn't going to decline.

The shirt stayed with my family when we moved from Regina to Winnipeg, and was unpacked in my new closet, where it would long remain until one day (I was probably around 2o-21 at the time) I found it and tried it on. While I didn't care much for pimping tires, this shirt was comfortable. I was sad that I couldn't find the other shirt I had received with it- My memory had it with a cobra on the front, something that had far more ironic potential - but I was happy to have this shirt now, great for work-outs and hot days.

When I took this picture, I noticed that underneath the printing at the bottom of the logo a hole and formed, and I knew its days were numbered. Well, since then it has been tossed into the rag drawer during a purge through my wardrobe. That makes it the first item in this project that I really don't own any longer. I wish I still had it: Shirts that comfortable sadly don't last long, but I supposed I've gotten several years out of it which is more then reasonable.

Now if only I can find that Cobra...

Item Number 20: Bike Helmet, Black

Time in possession: Around 9 months

Description: Black Giro bike helmet, with visor. Minor wear and tear including some small scratches and a small dent.

Cost: Something around 45$, bought at Lifesport.

Story: Last summer I decided to start riding my bike around town, my car being long since passed away and the bus service being quite insufferable. My ex-girlfriend left me her old bike and I was able to find my old bike helmet, and soon I was riding around town in what my friend Kevin lovingly referred to as the "death-mobile". The bike was a rusty piece of crap and my helmet pretty dumb looking, but it was a cheap way to get around town and I was happy.

Eventually the death-mobile got stolen, and I was left at an impasse: What should I do now? I had a couple of crappy bikes lying around that made my old ride look awesome, but I wasn't ready to put myself through that kind of torture. Should I then maybe looking into just getting a Wal-Mart special? Finally, Kevin convinced me that the way to go would be to buy a really good bike. Sure, it would cost a lot, but the difference in the riding experience would be more then worth it. So, off I went to the local sports store and found a nice bike. Riding it around convinced me of its worth and soon I was lining up to get a 500$ bike, which became my grad gift, as opposed to the digital or video camera my parents and grandma were planning on getting me.

And so, with my shiny new bike, I decided to also spring for a better helmet, as my old number was lacking in many ways. The difference here was also amazing. Much more comfort and definitely better aesthetically. Now I was flying around the city in style, making great time and getting super fit.

And then my new bike got stolen.

The opening night of my one man show at the Fringe festival was a huge success: The crowds were good, my friends enjoyed it and I was on top of the world. After a trip to the beer tent, it was suggested we all head down to a friends house to continue the party. We did, and for about another hour I was feeling as great as I possibly could. Then one of the party goers entered the house asking me where I had put my bike. My bike had been next to theirs: But it was no longer. Shit shit shit.

I went outside and saw it for myself: Where my bike had formerly been is now nothing... except for my helmet, which had been left behind (Strangely enough, my lock had not also been left). And so, it remained the only part of my grad gift left. Fortunately, we were able to replace the bike as it had been insured, and so the Brent-Mobile Mk II lives... but that's a story for another day.